Lorraine was a resident at Odyssey House. Tommy was at Project Contact. Their programs were not located far from each other in lower Manhattan. These are not their real names which were changed for the publication.
Dear Pen Pal: My name is Tommy. I live in Brooklyn. I am nineteen years old, have dark skin, brown eyes, a gold star on my front tooth and I am six foot one. I am interested in basketball and football. I go to boxing school. My sign is Capricorn. I weigh 185 pounds. I love to party, but I am a quiet person sometimes. I am not boring.
I am interested in a female with a nice personality who is not a boring person. I don’t care about looks as long as you have a vicious body. I would like to write to a girl aged 17-20 who likes to hang out and have fun...and not all about games. I go to Project Contact.
Yours truly,
Tommy
Dear Tommy: My name is Lorraine Maria Browne. I am the answer to your request. I am five foot one inch and almost 100 lbs. I have a pretty lightskinned complexion, with light brown hair and brown eyes. I have a very slim build. I hope one day to be a model, singer or flight attendant. I have a very nice personality, and I am easy to get along with. By the way, I forgot to mention that I am originally from Brooklyn, but I was raised on Staten Island. Anyway, I’m 19 years old and a Virgo. I’m not all about fun and games. I’m all about getting my life together and thinking about the future. I am very ambitious and I’m pretty confident in myself. I am really looking forward to my future. I want the best out of life and I will have it all! I’m young, with no children, and I’m not making any immediate plans to have any at such an early age. I want to live my life first before starting another. I would like to see what I can be first, and in my opinion, it’s hard enough taking care of me, without a child right now. I love children, but I know that I’m just not ready. I love to smile and I enjoy conversating with people of the opposite sex. I communicate well with people, and love to travel, so I have decided to enter a career in which I will be able to do both. You sound like you’re good people Tommy, and I am too--so you know what time it is. (SMILE) I’m going to cut this letter short for now, because I could go on and on. It was nice writing to you. Write back. Take it easy,
Sincerely,
Lorraine
Dear Lorraine: You sound very intelligent. I like the way you sound and think. I feel the same way. I am not ready for any commitments either because I still have my future ahead of me. When I finish school I plan to go to the army and take up electrical engineering. I have no kids, but I plan to have one soon, and if you have anything to tell me, feel free to open up, because I am looking forward to seeing you. So let me know if we have a chance, because you are the one for me, and that is true. If you want to arrange a date here’s my number--, or you can write me and let me know what it’s going to be.
Yours truly,
Tommy
Dear Tommy: Hey there! It’s me again. It sounds like you enjoyed your brief encounter with me, and I’m glad. By the way, you never mentioned that you were in a T.C. also. I’m in Odyssey House on Sixth Street. I asked the teacher where you came from, and he told me you are at Project Contact. That’s good to know that you are getting your life together, as I am.
You sent your phone number in your response. I just want to tell you that now isn’t the time for that. As long as we keep in touch, that too may come. You see, in this program you have to reach certain levels before you can communicate with the outside world. I am nineteen, but in here I am considered an adolescent. There are four levels--freshman, sophomore, junior and senior. I’ve been here for almost a month already--pretreatment. I’ve been doing good and I have been chosen to be a sponsor, which means that I am a good role model to my peers. It’s tough baby, but we will benefit in the end. I hope you will stick it out and stay in contact with me until the end. I know that I can offer you a lot of support because I’m strong and in this world ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE.
Let me tell you what kind of things I like and dislike. I like men who are strong, because behind every strong man is a strong woman--and vice versa. I like men who are very masculine, yet sensitive to my every need. I like a man who can give me support--along with plenty more. I love the way I look when I wear black leather, lace stockings, a nice silk blouse and a smile. I love the material things in life, but I know that there must be a separation to love yourself first.
I’m kinda spoiled, but in a nice way. I’m not a bit selfish in any way. I’m what you might call the exception to the rule! (SMILE) What is priority in my life right now is getting well. I used to take drugs--crack to be exact. But now it’s a thing of the past. Now I can’t see throwing it all away for a puff on a little cheap pipe, for a five second high. I was on a cold-blooded mission--I can’t front. (SMILE) Tommy, my time is up, write back soon.
Lorraine
Dear Tommy: Hi! How are you today? Fine, I hope I’m just writing you again, hoping that my brief statement will find you and place you in a most positive state of mind--physically as well as mentally.
Me, I’ll be alright. I am to undergo my psychological exam either today 10/16/86 or the following Monday. Hopefully, that following Thursday I will have my probe. I’ll be glad, because I will have taken a deep look inside myself and I will know exactly what my issues are. I had a rough time in my group this week because of something that I really couldn’t accept. You see, I’ve always been the more independent type. I was on my own out in the world, and I’ve never had to listen to anyone. I always learned from experience and trusted my own judgement. My problem here was that I had to adjust to taking orders, and sometimes accepting the unjust.
I’m not a nasty person in any way. It’s just that sometimes when women tell me to do things that I don’t agree with I display a silent attitude. To me, it’s not what you say to a person, it’s how you say it. And when a woman speaks to me in a tone that isn’t necessary, it kind of brings flashbacks of my relationship with my mother--which is probably my main issue. I love my mother with all my heart, but she did me wrong. She did my whole family wrong. She introduced us all to ‘base’. I don’t blame her for my actions, because I’ve always had a mind of my own and nobody forced me to take anything. What I do resent her for is for allowing us to engage in what turned out to be total destruction.
I feel strong resentment towards her, but I do love her. I don’t hate her because, although she allowed this, I understand her addictive personality was her guide--as was mine at the time. I just wish that she would give me a little more support.
You know something? When I first came here I couldn’t understand having to do without. See, when I was out in the world I was able to get all the things I needed But in here I have to depend on my family to bring me things. Whenever I call my mother she would promise me this and promise me that, and I was the one who always ended up disappointed. So my brother had to explain to me that it was gonna be like that for a while, and that I had to make do with alternatives now and then.
I knew that I could trust his judgement because he’s already been where I’m at--and he’s tight. I know that now is the time to get right. Now is the time that we’ve got to be strong. All that other bullshit is irrelevant! (SMILE) I know that I talk a lot, but when you respond, I hope you can give me just as much. When I came into the computer room, the first thing I said was, “Richard, do you have a letter from my pen pal?” And he told me that you didn’t finish. Don’t make me wait too long. Well, it’s time to go. The next letter is on you. (SMILE)
Lorraine
Hi Lorraine: I am sorry I haven’t written to you in a while because I had some things to do. As you can see I like talking to you, baby. I have been in a little trouble with some guys, but now everything is alright. By the way, yes, I go to Project Contact now. It is very nice here. We have a lot of fun. We go on trips and have parties. By the way, maybe you can come to our Thanksgiving party because I would very much like to see you. If you decide to come just let me know when you write back.
So how are you doing? I hope ok. It is good you are not messing with drugs anymore because it isn’t the thing to be doing. I used to use dust, take tabs and crack and then I saw where my MONEY was going. So I had to make a change in my life and now I am going on the right track.
Sorry love, I have to go now, but write me back and let me know about the party.
Tommy
Hello Tommy: I’m fine as usual. I’m having my share of problems, but I’ll be alright. About the Thanksgiving party, I know for a fact that I will definitely not be able to attend because I am only allowed to visit with my immediate family. I’m sorry, but it has to be like that sometimes.
So tell me, what kind of trouble have you been in with some guys? Nothing serious I hope. I’m gonna tell you exactly how I feel and I hope that you don’t get offended. OK?
Lately your letters have been getting kind of ‘relaxed’. When I take the time to write you a descriptive, fully detailed letter, I expect you to do that same thing. I’m the kind of girl who likes a challenge and lately you haven’t satisfied that need at all. You’re gonna have to come better than you have been if you wish to continue these brief conversations. Tell me something good, not that you’ve been in trouble with some guys, because I left the streets to get away fro that type of shit--OK So in other words--get it together or leave it alone. I wanted to tell you your letter was weak. I don’t mean to sound harsh in any way, but I pick up feelings very easily. This has got to be a 50/50 type situation, the writing I mean. No, my name ain’t baby--it’s Lorraine. (SMILE) It’s all up to you.
Lorraine
Hi Lorraine: I am writing this letter to let you know that I am sorry because it was my problem. Now that I know that I will not tell you things like that. I now know that all things reflect themselves; all mistakes are correct; all ways are true. Everything is as it appears. I see now that you are a very strong lady and you are behind a man 100%. I do not like a woman with a weak mind and I can tell that you are not in that category. Believe me I do not have a weak mind.
Yes, I enjoy talking to you and I feel that if we get a chance we can accomplish a lot together because you have a lot of class and that’s why I am talking to you and letting you know about me.
I understand that you can’t come to the party. Maybe when you get home you can give me a call. I have to go now.
Yours truly,
Tommy
Dear Tommy: I’m glad that you took heed of the letter I wrote you. I’m pleased that we are able to get a better understanding of each other. All I was really saying was that we needed to conversate on a more positive level, pushing all bullshit aside for a moment.
So how have you been? Fine, I hope. I hope you’re remaining serious about what you’re doing and not letting negativity discourage you. Me--I’m doing all right. Lately, I have been slipping into a state of depression. It gets harder every day, and I’m just holding on, trying to keep up the strength to do what I’ve gotta do. I do use my groups to help me when I’m in difficulty, but sometimes I feel as though I need a little more. I usually talk about various things I feel, but there is something that is sometimes too painful to talk about, and that is my relationship to one particular man. You see it’s hard. It’s very hard to have loved and lost. Especially when you know that you gave up too easily, when certain things could have been avoided.
It’s very painful for me to realize that I had it all, and gave it all up for drugs. Now I feel the fire, and damn, it’s hot!! Like I said, it’s hard, but only the strong survive. While I am writing this letter, I am kicking up many feelings within myself. So I am going to end this letter.
In your response I would like you to tell me something about your past relationship(s). If it was more than one woman at a time--save it! (SMILE) I would like to hear about it from another man’s point of view, and hopefully, I will be able to relate to your experience(s).
Until next time, relax yourself.
Lorraine
(From Streams)
Yours truly,
Tommy
Dear Tommy: My name is Lorraine Maria Browne. I am the answer to your request. I am five foot one inch and almost 100 lbs. I have a pretty lightskinned complexion, with light brown hair and brown eyes. I have a very slim build. I hope one day to be a model, singer or flight attendant. I have a very nice personality, and I am easy to get along with. By the way, I forgot to mention that I am originally from Brooklyn, but I was raised on Staten Island. Anyway, I’m 19 years old and a Virgo. I’m not all about fun and games. I’m all about getting my life together and thinking about the future. I am very ambitious and I’m pretty confident in myself. I am really looking forward to my future. I want the best out of life and I will have it all! I’m young, with no children, and I’m not making any immediate plans to have any at such an early age. I want to live my life first before starting another. I would like to see what I can be first, and in my opinion, it’s hard enough taking care of me, without a child right now. I love children, but I know that I’m just not ready. I love to smile and I enjoy conversating with people of the opposite sex. I communicate well with people, and love to travel, so I have decided to enter a career in which I will be able to do both. You sound like you’re good people Tommy, and I am too--so you know what time it is. (SMILE) I’m going to cut this letter short for now, because I could go on and on. It was nice writing to you. Write back. Take it easy,
Sincerely,
Lorraine
Dear Lorraine: You sound very intelligent. I like the way you sound and think. I feel the same way. I am not ready for any commitments either because I still have my future ahead of me. When I finish school I plan to go to the army and take up electrical engineering. I have no kids, but I plan to have one soon, and if you have anything to tell me, feel free to open up, because I am looking forward to seeing you. So let me know if we have a chance, because you are the one for me, and that is true. If you want to arrange a date here’s my number--, or you can write me and let me know what it’s going to be.
Yours truly,
Tommy
Dear Tommy: Hey there! It’s me again. It sounds like you enjoyed your brief encounter with me, and I’m glad. By the way, you never mentioned that you were in a T.C. also. I’m in Odyssey House on Sixth Street. I asked the teacher where you came from, and he told me you are at Project Contact. That’s good to know that you are getting your life together, as I am.
You sent your phone number in your response. I just want to tell you that now isn’t the time for that. As long as we keep in touch, that too may come. You see, in this program you have to reach certain levels before you can communicate with the outside world. I am nineteen, but in here I am considered an adolescent. There are four levels--freshman, sophomore, junior and senior. I’ve been here for almost a month already--pretreatment. I’ve been doing good and I have been chosen to be a sponsor, which means that I am a good role model to my peers. It’s tough baby, but we will benefit in the end. I hope you will stick it out and stay in contact with me until the end. I know that I can offer you a lot of support because I’m strong and in this world ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE.
Let me tell you what kind of things I like and dislike. I like men who are strong, because behind every strong man is a strong woman--and vice versa. I like men who are very masculine, yet sensitive to my every need. I like a man who can give me support--along with plenty more. I love the way I look when I wear black leather, lace stockings, a nice silk blouse and a smile. I love the material things in life, but I know that there must be a separation to love yourself first.
I’m kinda spoiled, but in a nice way. I’m not a bit selfish in any way. I’m what you might call the exception to the rule! (SMILE) What is priority in my life right now is getting well. I used to take drugs--crack to be exact. But now it’s a thing of the past. Now I can’t see throwing it all away for a puff on a little cheap pipe, for a five second high. I was on a cold-blooded mission--I can’t front. (SMILE) Tommy, my time is up, write back soon.
Lorraine
Dear Tommy: Hi! How are you today? Fine, I hope I’m just writing you again, hoping that my brief statement will find you and place you in a most positive state of mind--physically as well as mentally.
Me, I’ll be alright. I am to undergo my psychological exam either today 10/16/86 or the following Monday. Hopefully, that following Thursday I will have my probe. I’ll be glad, because I will have taken a deep look inside myself and I will know exactly what my issues are. I had a rough time in my group this week because of something that I really couldn’t accept. You see, I’ve always been the more independent type. I was on my own out in the world, and I’ve never had to listen to anyone. I always learned from experience and trusted my own judgement. My problem here was that I had to adjust to taking orders, and sometimes accepting the unjust.
I’m not a nasty person in any way. It’s just that sometimes when women tell me to do things that I don’t agree with I display a silent attitude. To me, it’s not what you say to a person, it’s how you say it. And when a woman speaks to me in a tone that isn’t necessary, it kind of brings flashbacks of my relationship with my mother--which is probably my main issue. I love my mother with all my heart, but she did me wrong. She did my whole family wrong. She introduced us all to ‘base’. I don’t blame her for my actions, because I’ve always had a mind of my own and nobody forced me to take anything. What I do resent her for is for allowing us to engage in what turned out to be total destruction.
I feel strong resentment towards her, but I do love her. I don’t hate her because, although she allowed this, I understand her addictive personality was her guide--as was mine at the time. I just wish that she would give me a little more support.
You know something? When I first came here I couldn’t understand having to do without. See, when I was out in the world I was able to get all the things I needed But in here I have to depend on my family to bring me things. Whenever I call my mother she would promise me this and promise me that, and I was the one who always ended up disappointed. So my brother had to explain to me that it was gonna be like that for a while, and that I had to make do with alternatives now and then.
I knew that I could trust his judgement because he’s already been where I’m at--and he’s tight. I know that now is the time to get right. Now is the time that we’ve got to be strong. All that other bullshit is irrelevant! (SMILE) I know that I talk a lot, but when you respond, I hope you can give me just as much. When I came into the computer room, the first thing I said was, “Richard, do you have a letter from my pen pal?” And he told me that you didn’t finish. Don’t make me wait too long. Well, it’s time to go. The next letter is on you. (SMILE)
Lorraine
Hi Lorraine: I am sorry I haven’t written to you in a while because I had some things to do. As you can see I like talking to you, baby. I have been in a little trouble with some guys, but now everything is alright. By the way, yes, I go to Project Contact now. It is very nice here. We have a lot of fun. We go on trips and have parties. By the way, maybe you can come to our Thanksgiving party because I would very much like to see you. If you decide to come just let me know when you write back.
So how are you doing? I hope ok. It is good you are not messing with drugs anymore because it isn’t the thing to be doing. I used to use dust, take tabs and crack and then I saw where my MONEY was going. So I had to make a change in my life and now I am going on the right track.
Sorry love, I have to go now, but write me back and let me know about the party.
Tommy
Hello Tommy: I’m fine as usual. I’m having my share of problems, but I’ll be alright. About the Thanksgiving party, I know for a fact that I will definitely not be able to attend because I am only allowed to visit with my immediate family. I’m sorry, but it has to be like that sometimes.
So tell me, what kind of trouble have you been in with some guys? Nothing serious I hope. I’m gonna tell you exactly how I feel and I hope that you don’t get offended. OK?
Lately your letters have been getting kind of ‘relaxed’. When I take the time to write you a descriptive, fully detailed letter, I expect you to do that same thing. I’m the kind of girl who likes a challenge and lately you haven’t satisfied that need at all. You’re gonna have to come better than you have been if you wish to continue these brief conversations. Tell me something good, not that you’ve been in trouble with some guys, because I left the streets to get away fro that type of shit--OK So in other words--get it together or leave it alone. I wanted to tell you your letter was weak. I don’t mean to sound harsh in any way, but I pick up feelings very easily. This has got to be a 50/50 type situation, the writing I mean. No, my name ain’t baby--it’s Lorraine. (SMILE) It’s all up to you.
Lorraine
Hi Lorraine: I am writing this letter to let you know that I am sorry because it was my problem. Now that I know that I will not tell you things like that. I now know that all things reflect themselves; all mistakes are correct; all ways are true. Everything is as it appears. I see now that you are a very strong lady and you are behind a man 100%. I do not like a woman with a weak mind and I can tell that you are not in that category. Believe me I do not have a weak mind.
Yes, I enjoy talking to you and I feel that if we get a chance we can accomplish a lot together because you have a lot of class and that’s why I am talking to you and letting you know about me.
I understand that you can’t come to the party. Maybe when you get home you can give me a call. I have to go now.
Yours truly,
Tommy
Dear Tommy: I’m glad that you took heed of the letter I wrote you. I’m pleased that we are able to get a better understanding of each other. All I was really saying was that we needed to conversate on a more positive level, pushing all bullshit aside for a moment.
So how have you been? Fine, I hope. I hope you’re remaining serious about what you’re doing and not letting negativity discourage you. Me--I’m doing all right. Lately, I have been slipping into a state of depression. It gets harder every day, and I’m just holding on, trying to keep up the strength to do what I’ve gotta do. I do use my groups to help me when I’m in difficulty, but sometimes I feel as though I need a little more. I usually talk about various things I feel, but there is something that is sometimes too painful to talk about, and that is my relationship to one particular man. You see it’s hard. It’s very hard to have loved and lost. Especially when you know that you gave up too easily, when certain things could have been avoided.
It’s very painful for me to realize that I had it all, and gave it all up for drugs. Now I feel the fire, and damn, it’s hot!! Like I said, it’s hard, but only the strong survive. While I am writing this letter, I am kicking up many feelings within myself. So I am going to end this letter.
In your response I would like you to tell me something about your past relationship(s). If it was more than one woman at a time--save it! (SMILE) I would like to hear about it from another man’s point of view, and hopefully, I will be able to relate to your experience(s).
Until next time, relax yourself.
Lorraine
(From Streams)
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